God Moment - Becki Veach - April 30, 2020
I wanted to share my God moment with you after attending online church this past Sunday. I can totally identify with the sermon this morning. I understand what I have been doing as a result of listening to the sermon.
Just like Peter denied Jesus three times, I have been betraying those that I love and that love me. I have betrayed them through pretending to be someone I'm not. I have been trying to prove myself to show that I'm worthy of love. I feel like the reason I have been doing this is because I never was convinced that God loved me or Jesus could love me. I believed that I was flawed from birth. I thought that because my birth parents had abused me and rejected me that everyone else on earth would have to do that too.
This year God has been showing me how loved I am and that I no longer have to pretend to be someone that I am not. I really started to understand how deep the love of God is. He hasn't rejected me because of my sin. Because I'm discovering that truth, now I'm starting to love myself. Then as I learn to love myself, I can grasp what it really means to love others as well. As I stop misrepresenting myself to God and in my own mind, I can also not be afraid to be genuine with other people. I also realized this morning that my mission field is not overseas or the church as much as it is in my own AA fellowship.
For a long time, I thought that I had to please others in order to be loved. I thought I needed to take action by going to seminary or going into full-time mission work. Now I am starting to see that I am a missionary, only it's not the way that I once thought I needed to be.
I am feeding Jesus' sheep through showing love to my friends that might not ever see Jesus any other way. That is my God moment for this week.